9 Wedding Dresses You Won’t Believe Exist

by Aisha Farndon on 28/08/2015

For every bride that longs to look classy and understated on her wedding day will be a bride that wants all the attention on them. Even if it’s bad. And for every bride that craves the spotlight there is a dressmaker out there seeking fame for their fantastical creations.

So here’s our round-up of 11 wedding dresses you won’t believe exist.

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The Vagina Wedding Dress

This dress, made by the artist Hazel  Moore at the Glasgow School of Art explores the ‘Sheela-na-Gig, ‘a conflicting symbol originally of fertility and later also of promiscuity’, according to Mamma Mia.

Whatever her reason, we don’t think this is a dress made for a church ceremony!

View the dress here: https://goo.gl/9ghUSr

The Have-Your-Cake-And-Eat-It Wedding Dress

Now, we’ve heard that a bride can get that caught up in the wedding day that she forgets to eat, only to find herself starving later. Problem solved! Although Lukka Sigurdottir’s wedding dress design will probably make it a little hard to dance, at least you’re not at any risk of toppling over when drunk.

View the dress here: https://goo.gl/9ghUSr

The Full-Frontal Wedding Dress

The now infamous  Russian bride that got her massive boobs out on her wedding day may have thought that by covering her nipples she displayed a touch of decorum. Afraid not! And why is it that this Kauffeld und Jahn Couture creation for the show at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in Berlin, Germany somehow looks slightly more classy (just slightly mind), despite her fake breasts only being covered by a shimmery see-through fabric?!

View the dress here: https://goo.gl/tg64gg

The Longest Wedding Dress Train

People go nuts for breaking a Guinness World Record. This dress measured a whopping 2,750 metre long train, breaking the previous record of  2,488 metres. Not surprisingly, it took 10 seamstresses 100 days to make.

Somehow, we doubt that this is one train that your chief bridesmaid could fan out for the wedding photos.

View the dress here: https://goo.gl/DHmQwE

The Why-Have-A-Bouquet Wedding Dress

Now usually the totally OTT wedding dresses are nothing but tacky, but this wedding dress designed by England-based florist Janet Hodgson of The Flower Gallery reminds us of a wild English country garden, with its use of hydrangeas, orchids, roses, germini, hanging amaranthus (and a hell of a lot of lot leaves).

At least you’d save money on a bouquet…

View the dress here: https://goo.gl/9ghUSr

The Light-Up Look-At-Me Dress

Not convinced you’ll get the attention you want for your first dance? This bride clearly wasn’t, so instead she lit herself up like a Christmas tree. And you know what they say about lots of Christmas lights…

The If-Floyd-Mayweather-Made-Wedding-Dresses Dress

This is the kind of dress that Floyd”Money” Mayweather would love any bride of his to flaunt – it just screams ostentatious wealth. It took dressmaker Gail Be over 3 years to make and she used 995,000 glass and crystal beads, making it the biggest beaded wedding dress in the world.

One question – why spare the beading on the actual dress?!

View the dress here: https://goo.gl/x95h9A

The Wedding Dress With a Human Touch

 Well, what more could you expect from the Thelma Madine, the Liverpudlian dressmaker in My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding? Let’s just hope nobody had nits! At £50,000 can you imagine just how many WAGs and WAG wannabes this dress could fit out?

View the dress here: https://goo.gl/Vyk8Kf

And Finally….The Divorce Dress

And for when it all goes tits up because 1) you got your tits out at your wedding or 2) your husband got fed up of your constant need for attention,  then there’s always the divorce dress.

 This incredibly cynical wedding dress was made by a 15 year-old GCSE art student to symbolise that too many people rush into marriage.

View the dress here: https://goo.gl/9ai8J9

Really? So some brides don’t just get married so all the attention is on them for the day?!!