What Really Happens on a Stag Do

by Aisha Farndon on 08/09/2015

Chances are, if you are reading this then a) a girlfriend / wife trying to reassure herself of the potential atrocities that lie in wait for your boyfriend / husband or b) you’re not a lads’ lad and worried about what the hell you are letting yourself in for.

Well here goes…this is what really happens on a stag do. (Well, at least the stag dos we know about!)

football and beers

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1. The stags will seek to embarrass the stag…by any means

Usually this starts with dressing them up in something completely ridiculous. Think gimp masks, tutus, lady’s dress or even a giant pear for the guy who used to put on weight like a pear at uni.

Then it’s onto the real humiliation. The most popular favourites include getting a stripper to humiliate the stag in public with whips and whatever else she ma have in store. And wouldn’t that just be SO much better if it’s a roly poly fat stripper? Or one that’s tied to him?

Or for those who prefer to leave the strippers alone, midgets have by far become the more popular choice.

Then when the end of the night comes and the stag passes out, you may just find the stag tied to a lamppost, stripped naked, made to wet himself by placing his hand in boiling water whilst asleep…the list goes on. All in the name of some stag do stories…

Whatever happens, you will be humiliated in one of the above ways.

2. There WILL be a stripper / a visit to a strippy

The guys may reassure the girls back home that no such thing will happen but on nearly every single stag do, the promise of some female flesh works its way in.

Luckily for the girlfriends watching, said female naked flesh is usually planned to humiliate the stag more than to please him. Does anyone really find it that sexy having someone’s breasts squashed into their face in-front of all their mates? No. But that’s the point.

Obviously, you may be married to a lechy old man / be one and we can’t account for the anomalies out there…

3. Everyone will try to get the stag as paralytic as possible

It seems dirty pints really are the order of the day here…as well as some other substances sometimes slipping their way into people’s drinks.

Luckily some stags can handle their booze a bit more than others. And the others? Well, they are the stag do tales you hear about of them passed out asleep on the floor in the middle of the afternoon…or locked in a police cell the following morning.

4. Scores will be settled

Got a “friendly game” of golf or football? Chances are, someone’s been putting in training for this way in advance. Or you have. (Ladies, you know not to tell the other teammates about those golf lessons or gym sessions your guy has been putting in ahead of the stag do).

5. Someone will decide to get naked

After a few too many there’s always one that thinks it’s a good idea to get naked, whether or not the guys or any girls want to see it.